Saturday, January 17, 2009

Its 10pm do you know where your parents are?

Lets start with some good, happy bits of a post for a change.... Ben and Trisha finally had their baby. Poor Trisha was sooooo ready for that little pumpkin to come out. His name is Logan and he's ADORABLE. Not one of those babies that you say is adorable but really you think he looks like an alien or an old man either. He's actually so so cute, but cuter still is how his "tough-guy" father is with him. Ben is so enthralled with Logan its amazing.

So my mom and her bf came to visit for the weekend.... meaning I am at MY house. I had a metal support beam in the basement that was rusted through (since my house has flooded on more than one occasion) and I am no handy-man so they needed to install the new one for me. They also willingly dusted my living room including all the knick-knacky things annnd helped rearrange my furniture while sipping on a delicious glass of wine. It was wonderful in every way.

One of my good friends from high school emailed me today to let me in on a job lead in the school district he works in. (currently love him very much) I feel he mostly wanted me to stop whining in my blog and write something more entertaining. But, Im still happy and grateful to have another application to fill out. And hopeful that doors will start to open.

But, my family is in bed now, sleeping. Im sitting on my couch now alone. And Im so so so miserable and melancholy. I feel like I am stuck. In between homes, in between jobs..... not moving forward and can't go backward. I'm grumpy and looking at other people's facebook pictures of their seemingly happy lives is making me unnecessarily jealous. I know I have a good life and great friends and good things in front of me. So why do I feel so crummy?

And to top off all that nonsense.... I was hit by a bike the other day. Driving along in my friend's neighborhood when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I see a large object flying (at an abnormally fast pace) RIGHT INTO THE SIDE OF MY CAR! The guy was not looking as he drove into an intersection (where he had a stop sign) and flew through it. He smashed right in front of the passenger side door. So I hopped out to see if he was ok and recommend that he consider wearing a helmet, and he grabbed his bike and ran away from me. Like I was the crazy person who just smashed him. My car is dented. He's lucky I didnt get my hands on his bike.

And, as long as this had turned into my typical whiny post. It's cold. It's really freaking cold. It's all I can think about. Sometimes my thoughts change from "Its really cold" to "I need another pair of socks on"... but really it's all the same. There is FROST forming on the inside of my walls. This cannot be good. Literal frost. It's white, and wet, and cold. Worse yet, said frost is occurring in my beautiful new bathroom. Waaaaay to close to pipes that, so I'm told, will freeze when cold resulting in flooding and ruination of all things sacred and new and beautiful . And, after living at the farm for the past few months I truly appreciate, and miss, things that are MINE and only mine and that are clean.....and beautiful....... are you seeing the beauty here? Its a burgundy wall, which matches the rose colored veins that run through the marble tile on the floor, that I both picked out, and LAYED myself. The frost is now my mortal enemy. I am currently running a space heater and a dehumidifier in the bathroom, despite my mother's assurance that the paint and the drywall in the bathroom are made to handle moisture.... but what about the really freaking cold part? I keep getting up off the couch and checking the bathroom wall like a crazy person. Is it still cold? Is that frost? There. That speck. See it? No. Ok its a spider. No problem.

I should sleep now.... or maybe have another glass of wine.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Counting Pennies....

So..... now that the holidays are over (and they were wonderful) we find ourselves in a bit of a tight spot.

Both currently unemployed.

And so, if you could add us to your daily prayers and well wishes that would be wonderful. I was (like usual) working 2 part time jobs and subbing daily at a school near home, but with the economy the way it is right now there were less and less people going out to eat and more and more nights when I would go home with less than $20.00 in my pocket. (Now, I am a fantastic waitress, its not bad service that was resulting in low tips.) Keeping in mind that waitstaff makes just over 4.00/hour as their base pay and that their wages rely on tips I thought that I would be better off finding a job where I could at least be making minimum wage. As I have been managing the bar in Brockport now for 4 years I was hoping I could find a management position...... I hoped wrong. Its tough for people to get references from my previous employment as a manager when the business was seized by the IRS....... I have since applied to wait tables again at 8 different places, applied to be a bank teller as that is what I did to help pay my way through grad school, and re-applied to be a substitute at now 14 different school districts....
its frustrating, and heart breaking, and nerve wracking and I think I might explode in the near future....

and to top it all off, the plant where he works just laid off another 200 employees. And despite collecting unemployment and applying anywhere that his skills may enable him to work, we are not making ends meet.

So we pray. And I cry. And life goes on. But our blessings are still there in black and white. We have a full freezer, a wood burning furnace, supportive family, and a fledgling photography business that is doing well. (we just booked another August wedding, which makes a total of 8 weddings for this coming summer!!!!!)

So keep your fingers crossed, we're hopeful that things will turn around soon. And lets all remember to count our own belssings, (which is one of my new years resolutions...less whining, more blessing counting.)