Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Just so you know...

Yes. You there. Fat guy. Yup, the lazy one, who drinks too much and rarely works...yeah. You. Just so you know, I work my butt off. I work three jobs sometimes to pay my bills. I teach (which in and of itself feels like 3 jobs), I'm a photographer and I waitress to fill in the cracks. Sometimes, I go straight from one job to another, changing my clothes in the car. I know its Christmas and everything, and its a time of brotherly love and all that happy, glow-y, give to your neighbor type of mentality. I get that. I donate to charity, I stop by every red kettle I pass, I volunteer my time....I love my neighbors. But you? You are really starting to tick me off. I'm not saying that if you needed help I wouldn't gladly give it. I'm just saying that I do not want to pay your health insurance. It's not fair. I have a hard enough time paying my own. Thank you. That is all.

This selfish-brat is a Pro-Choice, Moderately Conservitive, Registered Republican with Liberal views on various controversial issues including but not limited to homosexuality and purple hair.....and still is not willing to pay for your health care and is not entirely convinced that a public, government supervised health care system is the best idea we ever had.

Monday, December 21, 2009

To Do:

I have a holiday to-do list that is about 6 miles long
-edit and ok ads for Pompey Hollow Photo before the Jan 1st deadline.
-buy christmas gifts for my brother and impossibly hard to buy for little sister
-go to Elmira
-visit grandma(s)
-quick ski trip with Dad and Co.
-Penny needs to go to the vet
-Make an appointment with Farrier
-Finish/re-start quilt for friend's new baby that is no longer a new baby
-Make annual mountain of Christmas Cookies
-grade 97 student memoirs
-organize and put away/throw out the clothes pile that is eating my room.
-get more stuff from my house, and cram it into my mom's house
-paint my bed room at house in Rochester so that it might be renter friendly in the summer
-pay some really over-due bills
-contact a lawyer about forming our LLC
-catch up with some old friends
-put together my NEW computer and convert all the photo files on my hard drive to organized DVDs
-consider putting my pictures into plain albums since I will never have time to scrapbook again
-plan lessons for grammar unit for when school starts back up
-figure out what to do for new years eve
-find some time to just relax

Friday, December 18, 2009

I'll call her Mary...

...that's not her name, but it suits her. It suits this season.

Mary is my secret favorite. That is, if I were to have favorites. She's a special needs kid, with a learning disability. Her handwriting resembles a 1st grader's and her ability to fit into social situations is just slightly skewed.

I see Mary first thing every morning, she's a fashion disaster and wears some one's old rejects. I have never seen the child in anything new or trendy, but this kid shines anyway. The last time I saw her she was wearing high heeled Mary Jane's that clicked when she walked. They had several scuff marks that had been fixed with magic marker. She wore a blue, linen skirt adorned with pink and yellow flowers, that hit mid shin. The seam on the back of the skirt near the bottom was coming out so that the back of her skirt was about an inch longer than the front. She had no tights. It was cold out side so her normal attire of basic cotton t-shirt was covered with a sagging and stretched out green cardigan with large, shiny metal buttons that reflected the light across the ceiling.

Her hair sits just below her ears in a haphazard haircut that she probably did herself. It's brown and plain, she wears no make-up and her freckles remind me of an old raggedy Ann doll. When she smiles, its because she is truly happy about something, and when she smiles it makes my heart hurt.

She is a bright, charming and friendly little girl. She's kind, minds her manners and is openly warm. She asks permission before doing anything, she tries hard, volunteers to read, offers answers to questions and participates freely in class.

Mary exudes kindness. She never, ever makes fun of any one's weaknesses or faults. She even will sometimes chastise others for mocking someone. Mary has no friends. I see Mary at breakfast in the morning sitting alone in the cafeteria. She always offers me a cheery "hello" as she sits there doing her homework, studying vocabulary or reading a text book.

Mary has not been in school in over a week and a half.

Prior to this she hasn't missed a single day. So, I was worried and went to inquire what was going on with her counselor. This girl's story has made me cry all day long....I will spare you all the details.

She's been in the hospital with emotional distress. Her mother hasn't gone to visit her because her "feet hurt". Mom also doesn't work, doesn't pay the bills, and offers no emotional support. They didn't celebrate Thanksgiving. There will probably be no Christmas. Mary confided to me in a writing assignment once that she doesn't remember if she has ever been hugged. (**and I'm crying again)

I had my students respond to a writing prompt before Thanksgiving: What are your Thanksgiving traditions? If you don't have any, what things will you do when you have your own home and family?
Mary wrote: "When I am an adult I will have very huge and big holiday get-together. I want all of my friends and family and loved ones and friends to sit around a table, eat together the good food and enjoy the company. I want to have everyone say how thankful they are to be together. There will be laughing and someone will say grace out loud for everyone to hear. Everyone will be happy especially me. I want it to be like you see it happen on TV. Do people have holidays like this?"

I keep filtering through emotions about this kid. Like how do we get her out of this situation? And how sad sad sad this makes me. How can a mother never hug her daughter? I'm sad, then I'm pissed, then I'm sad. Then I realize that even this story isn't as bad as it gets, there are kids out there in way worse situations. And then I cry all over again.

Can I do this job? How long do I have to be a teacher before these things don't get to me like this? How does everyone else handle this stuff? How many kids am I going to cry over in my career? How do I separate my real self from my professional self? Will that separation make me a crummy teacher? I pray for my students every day, but they still have to go home to their lives. How do I tell them that Shakespeare and grammar is important when they then go home to face alcoholism and drugs and being hit by their parents and teen pregnancy and life?

...Mary has the highest GPA out of my 97 students. She works her butt off because she tells me she doesn't want to be like her mother.

...When I see Mary again I'm going to hug her. Even though every class I ever took on teaching tells you not to touch your students......I'm going to tell her I care about her and that I'm proud of her..... because she is worthy of being proud of.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I am not...

....going green. Truth be told: I do not believe in Global Warming because its freaking freezing out, hello!?!?! Do you see the snow and wind and wintery mess outside? (Obviously my administration does not see the wintery mess as we have school today, but I see it and you see it and that's enough.) So, no, I am not going green. I did not send out my christmas cards yet because I am lazy. That's it. It's not because I wanted to save a few trees and not send out heavy card board cards causing the USPS to drive their big trucks all over the nation. I am simply lazy. I know you were all looking forward to a nice, happy, christmas-y picture of Abbi hanging her head over her stall door, covered in snow, sniffing a wreath while Penny and I stood by smiling in Santa hats.....doesn't that sound lovely? Imagine it in your heads..... there. "Merry Christmas!" Love, Molly

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


-There is a teacher in my school whom the students believe is a vampire. I sorta believe them. He does teach with all of his blinds drawn and is rather pale.

-I am not a fan of my schedule. I am going to wind up with a bladder infection I just know it. First of all, I have to perform a power-pee. I have literally 2 minutes to run my self to the faculty bathroom and back. I do get breaks, and a lunch, but there is ALWAYS a line during that time. My only remaining option is to rush there between my lunch duty and my 11th period class, pee like a racehorse and shove kids out of my way as I dive down the hall and into my classroom before my students get there. In what other profession does one have to hold their pee for HOURS??

And secondly, for the love of god, if you pee on the seat wipe it off. We are all adults here. It’s the FEMALE faculty bathroom. If I ever catch who is doing this I am totally gonna rub their nose in it “BAD teacher, BAD!”

-Only 5 more school days till Christmas break!!!! 

Friday, December 11, 2009

Little Debbie my @$$

Yesterday was a not so great day. Yesterday, I consumed an entire box of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes. The chocolate variety. I brought an apple to school, and a 60 calorie microwave soup, and a package of instant oatmeal in a lunch box. With a bottle of water. During a break I marched my junk-food-craving self to the grocery store and purchased the aformentioned little debbie snack cakes, 2 bottles of cherry coke and a king sized snickers bar. Yesterday was a not so great day. Why is she called "Little Debbie" anyway? If she ate any of her own addictive crap then she would be as large as my butt is quickly becoming.

Today I will try to eat my oatmeal like a good and logical person would do as the Eating Holidays quickly approach us.

On a side note:
Mimi Smartypants is my hero. No really. She is. If I ever grow up, I want to be just like her.

Friday, December 04, 2009


Check out Britain's Smallest Library. I love the spread of a LOVE for READING!

Smile. Happy Friday!

Money, Madness and the Mundane

-I just read in an article online that in 2007-2008 the average teacher's salary in NYS was $62,332.............I would like to know where those average teachers work. At then end of the month when we go through out budget to figure out how we possibly spent the entirity of my income on bills and have absolutely NOTHING left to put into savings (or buy the new purple heels I've had my eye on) I feel sorta depressed. Essentially I am making more now than I have ever made as a waitress....I think. I admit that I didn't keep very good track of my $$$ and that as a bar tender I would sometimes go home with ALOT of money at the end of the how do I start saving? Any ideas? We would like to go on a vacation sometime soon, I'd like to pay off my credit cards, and well.....I want alot. lol. How do you work a budget appropriately? How do people afford to have KIDS!!?? OMG, that must be expensive. There are not alot of things that we spend money on that are non-essentials.

-More important that all that: I think I am going crazy. I dreamt last night that I was a spider. I had to wake up and detangle the dog from the web of sheets I had stuffed her in.

-My swiffer is broken. I'm bummed.

-On a happier note: my cousins from Alaska are coming to Niagra Falls and I get to see them soon soon soon!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009


I have no idea what it means to be an adult. Apparently by some strange shift in the cosmos I have become a role model simply by becoming a teacher. I get that. I can dress appropriately, model good citizenship, exude enthusiasm for life, no problem. But, I am just as clueless as my 15 year old students when it comes to how life works, how people grow-up, what happens next......

The boy and I recently met up with a few friends from high school, the strange transitions that life takes us on really smacked me in the face. Our friends had evolved into this married couple with 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence. Where as, we too have bills to pay and responsibilities I feel we are essentially the same people we were 10 years ago. Our friends have changed. Why? Do we become the people that we need to be to trudge though life's little conundrums? Do we change to get through the crap that life sends at us? Have we not had enough crap yet? (cause I feel like we have.) Do we have no idea how tough things will get with marriage and kids? What happens to people on the other side of grown-up-ness? Do we ever hit a point where we really feel experienced? old? in control? Is there a moment when I will stop spontaneously dancing and singing down grocery store aisles because that is not appropriate behavior for an adult? What does adulthood mean anyway? And what has it done with my friends?

...I don't think I can resist the urge to hula-hoop in Walmart.