Clueless.

I have no idea what it means to be an adult. Apparently by some strange shift in the cosmos I have become a role model simply by becoming a teacher. I get that. I can dress appropriately, model good citizenship, exude enthusiasm for life, no problem. But, I am just as clueless as my 15 year old students when it comes to how life works, how people grow-up, what happens next......

The boy and I recently met up with a few friends from high school, the strange transitions that life takes us on really smacked me in the face. Our friends had evolved into this married couple with 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence. Where as, we too have bills to pay and responsibilities I feel we are essentially the same people we were 10 years ago. Our friends have changed. Why? Do we become the people that we need to be to trudge though life's little conundrums? Do we change to get through the crap that life sends at us? Have we not had enough crap yet? (cause I feel like we have.) Do we have no idea how tough things will get with marriage and kids? What happens to people on the other side of grown-up-ness? Do we ever hit a point where we really feel experienced? old? in control? Is there a moment when I will stop spontaneously dancing and singing down grocery store aisles because that is not appropriate behavior for an adult? What does adulthood mean anyway? And what has it done with my friends?

...I don't think I can resist the urge to hula-hoop in Walmart.