Monday, December 24, 2007
-Totally bummed out, completely feeling bah-hum-bugy, sitting in my cold cold cold house waiting for the heater repair guy to arrive. Happy Holidays.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
It doesn't look like that big of a deal, however, that spot is just enough lower than my driveway that all my tires do now is spin and spin on the ice, and I cannot drive back up onto the driveway. I rocked the car. I straightened the tires. I pushed and shoved. I shoveled. I put cardboard in front of my tires. I put cardboard behind my tires. I looked for some sand. I tried and tried....I spilled my coffee all the way down the front of my cute sweater. And now, I am an hour late for work. AAA said they have people who "really" need a tow truck to take care of first, my feet are wet and cold....and the woman that I am student teaching with must certainly think I am just to lazy to go into work today.
...So I put my PJs back on. Screw AAA.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
I did let the dog out. and fed her too.
So Adam is in Iraq. It makes me cry that Banks is dead. No one seems to really understand why I would be so sad about this guy dying that I only met once....and I would try to explain it but that would only make me cry again. Its just that his kid is so darn cute, and now has to grow up not really knowing his daddy. And it could have been Adam and not Banks. And I have to send Adam his christmas presents this week if i want him to have them by christmas....it makes me so angry-teary-frustrated-lonely-cranky that he won't be here on christmas morning and that there will be no snow and santa claus and family around him. Thinking about it makes my brain hurt and it is just so unfair. I am aware that he signed up for this, and I am so so so proud of him and all the boys over there doing what they need to do to keep us safe. But, I want my brother home for christmas.
I bought candy canes yesterday...I've eaten five today. I love Christmas. In fact, if my house wasnt filled with sheetrock dust and my belongings weren't piled up all over the house I would probably be getting the decorations out today.
I think we are buying furniture for christmas for eachother...like maybe a bed room set or something because neither of us has one. We just have a bed on a frame but no head board or anything. Its exciting to me to have "big girl furniture" and also to have something that is "ours". I of course want a giant, four-poster, princess-y, mammoth of a bed with satin sheets and hundreds of pillows...and he wants something rustic and small and normal. Boys are so impractical.
I bought marble floor! Its rosy and beautiful and lovely and I can't wait to install it (only i have no idea how) in my new new new bathroom. I painted the bathroom a deep burgundy and someday in the near future it will have a toilet and sink and marble floors which I am so so so excited about.
Ok, so random post is over. Maybe I should go take a nap because of my stomach bug.... or maybe go to the mall.
Friday, November 16, 2007
I had all these interesting little stories from school and my remodeling project that I wanted to post this weekend, but instead...... just pray with me this weekend ok?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
So......that "ugh" up there...was a literal ugh. Like, I said it while typing. I said it loudly ok? Im watching the democratic debate.....which also produced a similar Ugh....and now the dog, who is tired of my "ugh-ing" has now left me. She put her nose in the air and left the room. As though she has something better to do....I need to go to bed.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Not my flowers and not my bee, but I did take these pretty pictures. :-)
Annnd.....thats all I've got. God I lead a boring life.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
"Miss- I need to go see miss so-and-so." says random student
"Do you have a pass?"
"No, but yo if I dont get down there soon see im gonna be in trouble you kno dat and then yo I just gotta go cause i gotta."
"oh i see. silly me. well....here's the thing. we have a test today and since I dont know your name you obviously dont have any grades in the book so "yo" you need to take the test to make up fo' time you see cause you gotta pass this class, and I dont even know your name "yo" to write you outta pass to see miss so-and-so." I say all of this with a little funky groove beat behind my big bad rapper self....and random kid looks at me. Tells me I am "whack". Then sits down to silently begin his test....until miss so-and-so calls for him. turns out he wasnt lying.
Friday, September 14, 2007
"I'm sorry? Did you say your mamma's first dog?"
"Uh-huh. So what? You don't love your dogs?"
Her name was something similar to Sha'earl'Na-Spot. I'm not kidding.
Its going to be an interesting semester.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I could have a glass of wine since the wine rack is in the living room and I carry a bottle opener with me everywhere I go....only I have no glass....
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Who would have guessed that as they tore the floor up from a 108 year old house that they would find the entire sub floor dry rotted to dust? Who would have known that more concrete would need to be poured and molded as the foundation crumbled between their hands? Who knew that an easy no-big-deal project would be RUINING my LIFE right now? Who knew?
Monday, September 03, 2007
Where the yellow stops used to be the ceiling.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
...everywhere. I can't remember what it was like to have freshly vacuumed carpets. I wake up every day at quarter to seven when my carpenter and his cute, young assistant show up with their hammers and saws and other ungodly loud construction thingies. I still hear the ringing in my ears and banging in my skull long after they have left at night. I am no longer excited and have discovered yet again that home improvement projects are not my cup of tea.
I am hoping that all of this nonsensical noise and money and sweat will really increase the value of my little house so that I can sell it and move home and forever rely on other people to do my work for me.
Note: Cute assistant in blue.
Alright, so I'm lying a little. I am having fun. Sorta. I have been painting my house, one little bit at a time and I really love watching it transform from dirty, old white to sparkling, fresh, and bright. Its green, with white trim and dark green accent and I love love love it. I'm adding a little powder room and extending the kitchen so I get to pick out tiles and counter and cabinets and all sorts of other fun things, and as long as I don't think about all the money I'm spending, I do alright.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I am going to bed....I have until 3pm tomorrow to have two, finished, beautiful, eloquently written copies on the desk of the director of graduate education.
Monday, August 13, 2007
someday we might grow up. someday....
Andrew wearing a wedding band.....
One too many adult beverages....
but we needed to get two at a time because
we never knew when the alcohol was gonna run out.
The new couple singing together....enough said.
Sister of the bride Erin (left) and sister of the groom Leesha-something-something (right). (minus the afro for the moment).
The whole gang. Ker, Oz, Pat, Todd, Abby, Me, Drew....
Sunday, August 12, 2007
The house was about 2 miles outside the town, up a mountain of a driveway...I was wearing the cutest little silver heels which were not made for mountain climbing so I took them off. There was no flat ground on the property...except for a huge pond. The people who owned the house were there all weekend, getting angry that Kerri had invited so many people to her wedding. (even though they already ok-ed it, kerri had rented out the house for the whole week, and they had promised that they wouldn't be there.) There were not enough chairs for the 50 guests. There were no seating arrangements so one of out friends wound up standing all night while eating his meal that the catering company brought 68 minutes late. There was no cake, there was no "you may kiss the bride", there was no music....that is until the groom, the bride, and their best friend stated singing folk music with the guitar they brought along. I'm not kidding. My typical long island friend who hates anything that seems remotely "hick-like" was singing "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose..." at the top of her lungs while standing barefoot at the top of a mountain by a pond, with a crown of daisies in her hair. Granted she did look beautiful....but where was my friend? The bridesmaids were the grooms sisters, one of whom changed her name from Lisa, the Leesha-nan-er, or something like that, which she told me goes back to her pagan and latin roots....huh? But I was allowed to call her Lee if I liked. She also wore a large Afro wig for most of the evening. AN AFRO WIG! (please note she is not an african american woman) There was no first dance, they ran out of alcohol twice and had to run to the store......the groom's grandparents have a full time nurse who stole my shoes, TWICE. She stole my shoes. STOLE THEM! I know that the nurse gets paid for her services, she does not need to steal my shoes. I told her the first time that she shouldn't bother because you can't stand in the grass with them on, but apparently she didn't believe me because she said "Maybe you can't darling, but I am a lady, so I have the skills necessary to walk in heels." and then 30 minutes later proved her point by putting my shoes on her feet and walking around in them...until I noticed. I literally had to threaten to push her in the pond if she didn't relinquish my shoes.
The list goes on.....
I guess the weirdest part of the evening is simply the fact that one of the "fearsome foursome" is married. I have a hard time imagining Kerbear being Mrs. Kerri Ann Nixon. I have a hard time feeling like I am falling behind my friends who have real jobs, spouses, and children. I have a hard time knowing that the four of us won't be having sleepovers where we imagine ourselves marrying movie stars.... Someday I will have to admit that we are growing up....
I'll end by paraphrasing some of the speech that was made in honor of the bride and groom by Leesha-whatever:
"and there should be carrots, and celery, and red and yellow sauerkraut, and beans of all colors and flavors. And cheese, even bland store bought cheese with Gouda and cheddar. and sausage and chestnuts and all kinds of nuts really. pine nuts and almonds and coffee beans with beets...."
I have no idea what that meant....but I assume it must have meant congrats.
Thats Ker on the left, Abby, Todd, and me........
Friday, August 10, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
We were going to refinish my seriously water-damaged-sun-damaged-dry-rotting deck. I have a wood deck that has NEVER been waterproofed. It could be 100 years old. Its falling apart. I do not have the money to replace it, quite yet. But I would never ever have decided to refinish it on my own. The idea of sanding and staining and waterproofing it...aren't you supposed to hire someone for that?
We went to Grossmans bargin outlet, because we had a coupon that said we could spin a wheel and maybe win 50% off our whole cart of stuff. Who can resist spinning a wheel? We picked out the stain for the deck, antique white, because bright white would have looked stupid in front of my used-to-be-white-now-gray house that really needs to be painted. We got hedge clippers and paint brushes, and sand paper, and garbage bags, and a whole bunch of other useless stuff because we wanted to buy enough for it to be worth 50% off should we win that much…I don’t have a hedge.
…its called a bargin outlet for a reason. This time the reason is that the stain was clumpy and old and all of the color was on the bottom. So we shook it, and stirred it….and stirred and stirred and stirred… 20 minutes later it was clumpy and old and all the color was on the bottom. We used it anyway.
Lets just say I am not a handy-man. I don’t like to sweat, and I am not an artist. I have white, waterproof stain, (not paint because that would have washed off to easily) in my hair. I have it in the creases of my elbows. I have it behind my ears. I have it anywhere that ridiculously annoying fly decided to land on my skin. I have stain between my toes….I have showered three times.
I also have really beautiful white spots on my patio stones. My bushes have white leaves, my geraniums are no longer red, the dog has white feet, and the grill is polka dotted, and I have paw prints on my carpet.
…I only spun a 5% discount and I hate painting.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
The farm is the most peaceful place on earth.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
"Ok. Bye. I'm leaving. You can have a hug ANNNND a kiss."
"Both? I'm so lucky! Why can I have both?"
"Because I love you annnd I'm leaving."
Awww. I love you too Julia.
And note, Zack only got a hug.
If only the rest of the world thought that leaving required a hug annnd a kiss, it would be a much happier place....and you would be constantly getting hugs from creepy people, but you win some you loose some.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Then Bella yipped this earth shattering cry and went tearing towards her garage, and I looked over to find Penny COVERED in wasps, crying and running in circles trying to bite them off of her back. Penny only weighs 11 lbs....she had 18 wasps on her stinging her with their vicious little butts. Luckily I had my gardening gloves on and I could swat them off of her, (and I only got stung once). We went inside and I threw her in the cold tub thinking that would make her feel better. Within minutes she was passing out, puking and peeing uncontrolably and crying. Then she was having trouble breathing, then I was crying....
So I called Dr. Mckenna.....aka Dr. Doolittle, who is amazing in every way. He answered his cell phone, in the middle of his nephew's wedding, and walked me through what to do with Penny.
Note: Dogs can have people Benedryl, one mg per pound of body weight. Or double that in the case of extreme emergency.
And I put her in a baking soda bath with vinegar in the sink, because that is what I would have wanted if I was in her situation....and fed her water with a turkey baster.....and she is fine.
I never knew that I would become so attached to a little dog that I didnt want. I never would have thought in a million years that I would be ready to jump in the car to go to the doggy emergency room to spend god knows how much money on saving my dog....but i was ready.
I hate how they have such control of our hearts. And I love the little rat dog.....
Friday, June 01, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
And mostly I hate that I cannot for the life of me concentrate on writing my thesis.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
1) My mother's dog bit me. He has never bitten anyone. I am taking it to be a sign that somewhere deep inside I must be a bad bad bad person.
2) VA Tech. Where my sister goes to school. Scary scary scary sad stuff. How do people get that upset? 'nuff said.
3) Everyone I know is having babies. We welcomed Camryn Leigha, Stacie's beautiful little girl this week. I want one. I do. I know I'm crazy.
4)Jen's husband Jeff lost his job......I should be sympathetic about it. But I'm not. Because that means they are moving closer to me. Soon. Which means lots of Luke time and there's nothing I love more than smothering that little man with hugs and kisses. (note: Jeff has already gotten a new job so its ok for me to be excited that he got fired ok?)
5) Number of pages I have completed on my thesis: 18
Number I need by next Wednesday: 50
Likelihood that will happen: 0%
Number of observation hours completed this semester: 18
Number necessary by next Friday: 50
How stressed I am about that: 100%
Number of times I have wanted to quit my job this week: 3
Number of applications I have filled out for new jobs: 3
Likelyhood I will chicken out and keep crap job: pretty good
6) I really miss Zack and home. I have been stuck here working to pay my bills and get my homework done and paint my office and a million other things.... I don't even know when the next time I might be able to go home is. :-(
7) I bought my very first piece of real furniture this week. I believe this makes me an adult. Everything I owned until this point was a hand-me-down of some family member or a garage sale purchase. I now own a beautiful cherry computer desk with a hutch that I love love love. From a furniture store, delivered in a furniture store truck by a furniture store guy. Life is good.
8) I watch Lost. I am a nerd. Yesterday I was so convinced that it was Wednesday and was excited all day to watch Lost. It wasn't until 7pm that a classmate kindly reminded me it was Tuesday.
9) Ok one last thing. I love 80 degree weather in April. I'm a big big fan. I have a sun burn from being outside ALL WEEKEND LONG (read: not working on my thesis). I love summer clothes, flip flops, sundresses and all things bright and colorful. I love my new bright orange tube top thingy with long flowy waist and pretty embroidered flowers. I do not however love strapless bras. Who the hell came up with those things anyway? If you aren't tugging it back into place all day you are walking around looking like your boobies are four inches lower than they should be, and they mysteriously look like one oblong monoboob.
Friday, April 13, 2007
In other news, I hate today. Its Friday the 13th which is bad enough in itself, but it happens to be the 13th of April which is the worst day of the year. My plan to get through the day is: bubble bath, nap, made for tv lifetime movie, ice cream, repeat.
And because it is the 13th of April, thats all I have the brain power to write at present.
Have a fantastic weekend all.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Sometimes this battle wages inside of me. Like those cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. Mine goes like this:
Heart: "Oh he loves me again. He loves me. He can't wait for me to be with him forever and ever and ever and ever.... Love love lovey love...."
Head: "AGAIN? Again? He loves you again. So there is an off switch and an on switch. Ok Missy just when do you think he might turn it off again?"
Heart: "Lonely. I am soooo lonely. Why wont anyone cuddle me? So lonely."
Head: "Dummy. You have lots of friends. Go bowling. Go out to dinner. Call somone to come over. You are being like this because you choose to be."
Heart: "I miss him. I want to call him. I want to make everything just sugar sweeet and wonderful again."
Head: "Just shut up already. He's bad for you. You're happy with out him"
Heart: "Am not"
Head: "Are too"
Heart: "Am not"
Heart: "No one will ever know me like he does. No one can figure me out like that. No one can know just how to fix all of my problems and make me feel better. No one else could ever do those things. Remember that time...."
Head: "I know I told you to shut up. Do you think he was born knowing that stuff or did he learn it? Someone else can learn it too. I promise."
Heart: "But.....we love him."
Head: ".......I know we do...."
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Not for being late. Not for being out all night. Not for napping. Not even for not calling and making her co-workers work a longer shift to cover her. (and this didn't even effect me because I was bar tending.)
I hate her guts because were it me I would be ravaged with guilt. I would feel like complete scum. I would have hopped out of bed, shoved my hair in a lopsided pony tail and raced to work. I would have apologized a million times to the girls who stayed late to cover me...i would not have "Looked at the clock, realized I would be late, and went back to sleep for ten minutes because I said 'what the hell, I'm already late'..." I would not have made time to shower or put on makeup. I would feel like crap.....
I hate her guts because she barely shrugged about it. Because she didn't care or apologize about it...and because there will be no consequences for her actions. Why you ask? Because she is screwing the general manager.....
I am not bitter. I just wish that once and a while I could forget that my momma taught be to be an honest, hard worker, and I would just be a selfish bitch. I wish I could have no responsibilities except for working at the bar, and could stay out till 6am and screw my friends and co-workers and not care about it. Just one time.
I'm done venting. Thank you.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
If you were a bag boy at the grocery store, one would hope that you could get those tricky little plastic bags open.
If you are a teacher I would expect that you could manage to average grades together maybe even focus an over head projector.
A laywer, I would hope that you were a master of saying things like "Yes your honor" and have the ability to write in legal gobel-ti-gook.
I would assume that a doctor would know how to check blood pressure, and that a mail man know how to open a mail box.
You get my point.
Thus I assume that the director of the educaton program at Roberts Wesleyan College would know what classes are required for....you guessed it....a degree in education. Maybe I would be pushing it to hope that she would also know what classes are being offered this summer.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
"I have a nice butt? No way. It jiggles. I have a nice butt? huh? hmmm...hot. I'm hot? could they have been talking about someone else? No stupid you were the only one serving drinks. Well, my butt looked bad yesterday, it looked big last week, and Im pretty sure that these pants make it look flat? Does it look flat? Is a flat butt hot?...." and so on went the internal turmoil for 45 minutes until my shift was over....
So I trotted back to the ladies room to look in the mirror to see if in fact I had a nice butt. Unfortunately that even standing in the back of the room on my tiptoes the mirror was way to high to give me a full view of my rear. Soooo.... I locked the door and climbed onto the the toilet to elevate my booty enough so that it all fit in the mirror....I looked, it was fine. Not great, but fine. "Hmmm... I have a nice ass. ha." I gave it a little victory wiggle (mostly to see if it jiggled). No jiggle. Success with the jogging! YAY. I have tone, I am booty-liscious, I am hot! I wiggled it again.
I slipped and stepped in the toilet.
I think I will wait until someone tells me that I am intellectually captivating or goddess-like before I give my butt a victory wiggle again.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Calorie Free, Sugar Free, Guilt Free Double Chocolate Brownie Chunk Peanut Butter Goodness is not just a dream
But I did convince myself to rake the leaves out of my flower beds and I found this:
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Me and my fellow pretty ladies from the Smokehouse....
My lovie Luke and the teddy bear I sent him for St.Pattys Day. Oh how I love to squish those cheeks.
The Austrailian Cattle Dog puppy, Audi, at the SPCA that I am desperately trying to convince myself that I don't need to bring home....why do I go in there? They inevitably will break my heart and make me think I need six dogs....
My own dog Penn-noodle, who seems is getting really tired of me flashing the camera in her face.
Monday, March 19, 2007
except today it is cloudy. Go figure.
Friday, March 16, 2007
I have to bartend tonight...then I was going to drive home...but its supposed to snow 8-10 inches by 8am tomorrow. Isn't it spring yet? No St.Patty's day dinner for me looks like.
Im ready for flip flops, tan lines, and fishing in the pond. Aren't you?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I think I might be lonely....
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
The point is, that I can sit here and tell this blank screen that today I cleaned my entire bathroom, (with Lysol, not just a damp piece of toilet paper to clean the gunk off the mirror so I can see in it.) I vacuumed the stairs which I loathe doing because I inevitably will drop the vacuum cleaner down the stairs or on my foot. I scrubbed the oven and stove top until it sparkled. I DUSTED THE TV! (and believe it or not there is nothing wrong with the picture it was just dirty) I did dishes, organized my closet, and even mopped the floor....and I feel pretty proud of myself.
And you know what? This blank screen won't tell me to shut up, or mention that no one cares, or tell me that everyone cleans their house, works full time jobs, takes care of their family members and goes to school as well. This blank screen won't make me feel insignificant, or inferior or even try to one up me. And I really like that feeling....
Especially after a crappy crappy weekend.
So now, with my dish pan hands, Im gonna go enjoy a glass of wine. Because this blank screen won't tell me that drinking by myself is inappropriate.
....that's grandma's job, and she comes tomorrow....(did i dust on top of the entertainment center yet....???!!!)
Friday, March 02, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Me: "Hi, My name is Molly, I'll be taking care of you this evening. Can I get you all something to drink?"
Lady: "No thank you. I'll just have a water."
OK....are you going to get that your self? Maybe drink out of the bathroom sink?
(that same woman tipped 8%.......don't ever tip 8% ok?)
One of our managers: "Its not the managers' job to roll silverware."
Ummm.....I am also a manager. Yes it is your job as we have none rolled and its a busy Friday night. It is also your job to seat tables, bus tables, make drinks, scoop ice, pour waters, sweep the floors, clean the bathrooms, make salads, run the fryers, do dishes, stock beer, and do anything else that may be necessary for the proper management and function of the restaurant. Hence the title manager.
It is also important to note that since I don't purchase the food or prepare the food it is not my fault that the portion size may be smaller than you "remembered", "expected", "wanted", or "could eat the entire thing in two bites"...... please remember that waitstaff makes 4-something an hour and we're propbably starving, tired, and our feet hurt. Most of us are also probably going to school full time, paying all of our bills on 4-something an hour....and really would appreciate it if you would tip us according to our service not the food that WE DON'T MAKE.
Thank you and now I am off to bartend at my favorite establishment in brockport.
Monday, February 12, 2007
...today I return to reality. But...life is good.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
So then I went to fill my gas tank. I haven't been able to put more than ten dollars in the tank this week because its so darn cold out there that my hands fall off and I just stop pumping. So the light has been flashing at me for two days and I figured I would rather have my hands fall off then be stranded on the side of the road somewhere...So I park, pull the little lever to open the tank, get out of my car and twist the cap....it doesn't move. I try again, harder this time. I grunt. I twist. I put my whole body weight into it. I look around to see if anyone is watching....I try again. I put my foot on the side of the car for leverage and just pull....."Cap stuck?" some really observant young man at the next pump asks. "Yes" I look at him helplessly. Shrug my shoulders. Pout a little. Bat my eyelashes.... "That sucks." He replies as he gets in his vehicle and drives away. My low gas light is still flashing....
So I come home completely convinced that this world is full of mean and heartless individuals and find that someone has plowed my driveway while I was at work. Possibly the same someone that dragged a tree limb out of it a month ago, and most likely the same someone who lifted my car back onto the driveway when I drove off of it. (I have really steep edges of my driveway, marked by old railroad ties and I have been known to not back up straight and drive off the edge wedging my tires between the ground and the railroad tie. and I left it there one afternoon and got a ride to work because I was going to be really late only to find that while I was gone someone had "unstuck" it.)
I love my mystery neighbor. There are good people on this planet. And I feel warm and fuzzy now.
...I wonder if I have enough gas to make it to school tonight.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
in the front seat of his car
he's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
the other on my heart
i look around, turn the radio down
he says "baby is something wrong?"
i say" nothing i was just thinking how we don't have a song and he says...
our song is the slamming screen door, sneakin' out late, tapping on your window.
when you're on the phone and you talk real slow cause it's late and your mama don't know
our song is the way you laugh
the first date "man, i didn't kiss her, but i should have"
and when i got home...before i said amen asking God if he could play it again
I love this song, 'cause we don't have one either. But its more like:
crickets and fishing poles, walkin' out back to our favorite swimming hole,
snowmobiles and fast cars, pick-up trucks and camp fires
hugs that last for hours, watchin' fireflies dance and stars fall
sayin' good bye and waiting for another phone call.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I'm going home on Friday for calling hours. My co-workers actually switched with me to cover my shifts. I have never seen them so willing. It was a miracle actually and I was truly surprised.
I feel lucky that my grandparents are still in good health, because if I were in Zack's position now I would be a mess. I thank God I have such supportive friends and family to see me through the tough times, and I am thankful that Zackary does too.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Today I drank four cups of coffee with lunch to try to gain some energy to write a paper....nothing happened.
I think I will stop at Jitters on my way to school for a Grande White Chocolate Mocha Latte.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
I then fell down my stairs.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Now, (five weeks early) one day before her 1yr anniversary she gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. Luke is a tiny 5 pound angel. (I will post pictures soon!) And I am so happy for her. She's going to be the most wonderful mommy and I can't wait to be a part of Luke's life and watch him grow up!
However as I watch all my friends move on to the next parts of their lives, and I look at my own, which is commitment-less, confusing and often really really hard I feel just a tiny bit jealous. I wish someone would hand me a map and tell me when and where I will make those turns also. Courtney just celebrated her daughter's birthday last weekend, (she has 2 kids) and Brooke came to work last month with a giant engagement ring from a boy we were sure would never commit...I am not saying that I want to get married and have kids tomorrow. I just would like a little assurance that I am moving in the right direction with my life. Some days as Im driving to grad school Im not even sure that I want to complete my degree. I know this is crazy, and maybe I am just out of my mind...
...and not just all that, but I wish someone would shovel my driveway for me so I didn't have to go out in the cold. This living alone stuff sometimes isn't all its cracked up to be.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I have to write chapters one and two of my thesis by the end of next week, as well as somehow organize the mound of journal articles that i have dug out of the archives at school and accumulated on my coffee table, kitchen table, desk, back pack, floor....I think there are some under the bed too.
If you can't tell I may not be the most organized person ever.
I have four other classes besides my thesis class to worry about.
My gas and electric bill is twice as much as it was last month, and also $100 more than I have in my bank account.
Annnnd I really wanted to go home this weekend for a family party. I want to see everyone and relax and there is no place more relaxing than the farm and home..... and no one will cover my shift at work, and that might be enough to make me cry.
I just got up and I feel like I need a nap.