Saturday, January 20, 2007

Jen is a Mommy

So one of my best friends from college got married last January. Jen lived across the hall from me freshman year, made it possible for me to remain sane while living with the roomie from hell, and was constantly a support when my relationship with Zack was hard because her boyfriend (whom she later married) was also still at home. We haven't always kept in the best touch, she became an RA and I lived with Abby and Kerri, then moved off campus. I was home alot, and she was busy with school responsibilities (she had a 4.0 and graduated early from the honors program). But anyway, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and I count myself blessed to have a friend that is there for me even when we don't get to see eachother as much as we would like.

Now, (five weeks early) one day before her 1yr anniversary she gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. Luke is a tiny 5 pound angel. (I will post pictures soon!) And I am so happy for her. She's going to be the most wonderful mommy and I can't wait to be a part of Luke's life and watch him grow up!

However as I watch all my friends move on to the next parts of their lives, and I look at my own, which is commitment-less, confusing and often really really hard I feel just a tiny bit jealous. I wish someone would hand me a map and tell me when and where I will make those turns also. Courtney just celebrated her daughter's birthday last weekend, (she has 2 kids) and Brooke came to work last month with a giant engagement ring from a boy we were sure would never commit...I am not saying that I want to get married and have kids tomorrow. I just would like a little assurance that I am moving in the right direction with my life. Some days as Im driving to grad school Im not even sure that I want to complete my degree. I know this is crazy, and maybe I am just out of my mind...

...and not just all that, but I wish someone would shovel my driveway for me so I didn't have to go out in the cold. This living alone stuff sometimes isn't all its cracked up to be.

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