YUCK

I'm feeling sorta overwhelm-y today. (And yes I can make up words as an English major 26 days away from her Masters degree). Like the world is crashing down on my tiny little house and I don't like it very much. I didn't go to school today, which is totally unlike me. I made up some bs excuse about having a stomach bug which was not even slightly believed by the secretary in the building or my cooperating teacher but the kids were only going to watch movies today in class and its not like my presence was going to be helpful or necessary. And...sometimes it makes me nervous that after 2 degrees in English I still find absolutely nothing wrong with writing long-run-on sentences that really have no point. So I probably won't go to my class tonight either, because obviously if I have a stomach bug I wouldn't want to infect everyone there as well. Basically I had to bar tend last night, got home after 3 and had no desire to get up this morning to go to school. I had all these plans to get alot of house work done, and pay my bills and run errands....none of which has happened yet.

I did let the dog out. and fed her too.

So Adam is in Iraq. It makes me cry that Banks is dead. No one seems to really understand why I would be so sad about this guy dying that I only met once....and I would try to explain it but that would only make me cry again. Its just that his kid is so darn cute, and now has to grow up not really knowing his daddy. And it could have been Adam and not Banks. And I have to send Adam his christmas presents this week if i want him to have them by christmas....it makes me so angry-teary-frustrated-lonely-cranky that he won't be here on christmas morning and that there will be no snow and santa claus and family around him. Thinking about it makes my brain hurt and it is just so unfair. I am aware that he signed up for this, and I am so so so proud of him and all the boys over there doing what they need to do to keep us safe. But, I want my brother home for christmas.

I bought candy canes yesterday...I've eaten five today. I love Christmas. In fact, if my house wasnt filled with sheetrock dust and my belongings weren't piled up all over the house I would probably be getting the decorations out today.

I think we are buying furniture for christmas for eachother...like maybe a bed room set or something because neither of us has one. We just have a bed on a frame but no head board or anything. Its exciting to me to have "big girl furniture" and also to have something that is "ours". I of course want a giant, four-poster, princess-y, mammoth of a bed with satin sheets and hundreds of pillows...and he wants something rustic and small and normal. Boys are so impractical.

I bought marble floor! Its rosy and beautiful and lovely and I can't wait to install it (only i have no idea how) in my new new new bathroom. I painted the bathroom a deep burgundy and someday in the near future it will have a toilet and sink and marble floors which I am so so so excited about.

Ok, so random post is over. Maybe I should go take a nap because of my stomach bug.... or maybe go to the mall.