I mowed my lawn today.... now, I have a love-hate relationship with mowing my lawn. Its pretty much the only time I get to spend some quality one-on-one time with the sun. So I tie on my bikini top and get to absorbing the rays in hopes of gaining a little summer glow. And I enjoy this time spent outside. But I hate, HATE, getting covered in grass clippings. My whole body itches just thinking about it. I hate the tiny pieces of chopped bug-grass-weed-dirt mixture that covers me head to toe afterward. I hate the way my skin feels and my eyes water and I hate that my feet turn green..... But mowing my lawn today made me really appreciate my dog.
She will quietly lay in the grass and watch. There's no need to leash her, or tie her up. She's perfectly happy laying in the sunshine waiting for me to get done. Occasionally she will get up and follow me calmly down the freshly mown pathway that the lawnmower creates, her own white feet also turning a bright shade of green. Or she'll roll happily through the grass clippings, loving the way they feel against her skin, or the way they smell, or the bugs that she can find still lurking in them.
And I envy her a little bit. The pure and utter happiness that a dog has by just being. I envy her trust, her absolute certainty that I will not mow her over, and that when I'm finished I will most likely throw her tennis ball that she has been patiently moving around the yard, away from the perils of mower blades.
I also realized how much I love my home. I looked around the yard today and noticed how tall my lilac has gotten since I bought this house. I planted it the spring that I moved in. The flower beds that my mother and grandmother painstakingly created for me, patiently explaining which were plants and what was actually a weed. (knowing all along that it would remain un-weeded until they came back again). My slightly crooked, quirky mailbox, the humming birds that frequent my flowers, the mint that makes perfect mojitos, my slightly eccentric neighbors, the puddle at the end of the driveway that clearly resembles the playboy bunnie after a hard rain.... I am going to miss being here. I'm going to miss having things that are mine. I'm going to miss making decisions about which color to paint, what plants to move where, which trees can be cut down. I'm going to miss being independent and I'm going to miss alone time.....
This is going to be a difficult change for me. I know that its for the best, and I am so excited to start my new job and begin a real life together...but adjusting to a house full of people, sharing a kitchen and laundry room, permanently, is going to take some getting used to.