tug-of-war

I am having the biggest eternal battle right now and it sucks. Like really, truly sucks. I have wanted nothing more than to move home for the past 5.5 years. I want the hills, and the farm and the friends from home more than anything else.....sorta....I am also in love with my new marble floors, my bright yellow kitchen and new cabinets and my yard that is brimming with the possibilities of spring flowers from the thousands of bulbs that I planted this fall. I am not thrilled with sharing....I am a bad bad share-er. I am stressed from driving back and forth, I don't know if I am coming or going, I can't possibly keep my resolutions of jogging twice a week if I can't find which house my sneakers are in......(which isn't necessarily a bad thing) and I have painting to do at both houses! Why when I can have what I want is it no longer what I want? I mean I do want it still.....I just want both.....ok what I really want is my own space, my house, and yet I want the people I love with me there. Can't I have that? oh....and I want a puppy too. Penny wants a little brother.