So busy....

I have crazy amounts of stuff to do this week and ZERO time. Including running various errands to places that are ONLY open while I work. Why does the bank close at 4pm? I rarely leave the building by then........ especially when I have meetings schdeuled after school to tell me things that I already know.

That being said, I stumbled across this blog today, (while I was procrastinating doing the work I truly need to get done)and decided I too would like a personal assistant.

Wanted: Personal Assistant

Must be willing to make and receive numerous phone calls on a daily basis. Subject of phone calls can be, but is not limited to:


scheduling parent conferences with 100% success rate
scheduling parent conferences with 100% of the parents
scheduling parent conferences with 100% of the parents to be completed within a 10-day window
scheduling parent conferences for parents that can't actually come on parent conference night
scheduling alternative times for parent conferences during teacher's planning period, before school, or after school (when even the teacher doesn't even know what days he/she will actually HAVE a planning period, or when the teacher only has 1-day lead time as to whether or not they will have morning duty the following week, or when the teacher doesn't know when a last minute after school frivolous meeting will be scheduled)
tracking down missing paperwork/documentation for records
communicating information to parents about missing/incomplete student work
communicating information to parents about their child's negative behaviors in school

Must be willing to file paperwork that involves, but is not limited to:

student assignments
student behaviors
student growth/progress
student interventions
student absences
student tardies
student's new/revised home contact numbers
parent communication
student observations
running record of all times and events teacher goes above and beyond what is necessary

Must be willing to make copies that are, but are not limited to:

student assignments
notes home

Must be willing to monitor a school calendar so as to keep the teacher informed of:

upcoming staff meetings
upcoming planning meetings
upcoming off-campus meetings
upcoming off-campus-planning meetings
upcoming campus events that affect instructional time
upcoming campus events that are after school hours
unscheduled important last-minute meetings
unscheduled important last-minute deadlines
unscheduled frivolous last-minute meetings
unscheduled frivolous last-minute deadlines
unscheduled frivolous things in general
duty assignments and dates
specials rotation
upcoming due dates
upcoming assemblies
upcoming counselor guidance lessons

Must be willing to monitor a school calendar so as to help the teacher:

schedule educational events for students
schedule bathroom breaks
schedule days on which the teacher can get "sick"
Experience in interior decorating a plus

use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom with various student works, to be rotated out every 2 weeks
use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom without covering more than 60% of wall space in order to stay in compliance with fire codes
use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom with the "stuff" that meets the educational requirements of each department (i.e. math, science, reading) while still finding room for the student works that need to be displayed and not go over the 60% wall-coverage as required by the fire department (when 75% of one wall is windows and 80% of another wall is ceiling to floor cabinets)
use interior decorating experience to organize student desks for cooperative grouping while still keeping the desks in a position in which all students can see the board....with occasional times of organizing straight rows and columns for testing days....and then moving them back for non-testing days.

Annual Salary: 0.01 K (paid by Mr. Ed U. Cater himself)


-Well done Mr. Ed U Cater for understanding exactly what is missing in my life. Let me know if anyone applies for the job.