Friday, January 22, 2010

Remember when...

I can clearly remember our first kiss. I was dating Mr. Wrong who had told me he loved me after only dating for 3 weeks and when I didn't reply with "I love you too" he had pushed me backwards over my mom's coffee table. I had crashed to the ground, breaking a picture frame and smashed my arm on the rocking chair. Mr. Wrong had yanked me to my feet, apologized profusely, and gripped my shoulders so hard I couldn't stop crying even if I had tried. He apologized with rubies and diamonds. He scared the crap out of me. I was 16. What was love anyway? I didn't have to tell you the story, you saw the bruises on my arms. I'd never seen you mad before that. You and I had only known each other a month even if we had moved in the same circles our whole lives.

You drove me home from work in your red jeep with the broken heat and it snowed so hard that night. The kind of big, fluffy flakes that make you dizzy when you drive. I was nervous that you wouldn't make it back to your home safe. I was nervous anyway, being alone with you for the first time. I almost made an excuse to not have you drive me, but I had no other way home.

For a while I thought I might throw-up and my hands were shaking so hard I had to sit on them while you drove, you thought I was cold and kept apologizing for the lack of heat. You even tossed your jacket over my lap. My throat was dry and my lips were chapped and we were listening to Shaggy's stupid "Angel" song on the radio. I caught you singing along. Twice.

It took us nearly 30 minutes to drive the 10 miles to my house because of the snow. It took 30 minutes longer on my momma's front porch to say good night.

You were a jock, and popular. I was a nerd, and part of the drama club. I had just started wearing make up, you had friends who looked like Barbie. My first relationship was just getting started. (As I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16.) You had just broken up with your amazing girlfriend who was IN COLLEGE. You had the bluest eyes I had ever seen.

You finally reached down to kiss me and my heart stopped beating. It was slow and gentle and chick-flick-perfect. I melted into you. I didn't stop smiling for hours. I couldn't sleep. I was one cliche after another.

That was January 22nd. Ten years ago. I can't believe its been so long, it feels like yesterday. I love you.

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