I wish I was anywhere but here

I really wish I was going home to Zack's house today.

Overwhelmed...a lil

So I have packed up three garbage bags of clothes that I will no longer wear...the only thing I couldn't part with was my shrunken and stained, pink Oxford University sweatshirt. No I won't wear it, but what if I never go there again? And in my effort to organize and clean my closet and bedroom I have created a mountain of clothes in the middle of my floor. Penny is happy, she likes to climb and dig in Mt.Toomanyclothes. But me? Well I feel like I am worse off than when I started. Life was much easier when everything was crammed into 4 laundry baskets and shelves were overflowing.

I have to be to work in one hour and I can't seem to find a Smokehouse Tshirt.

I have to write chapters one and two of my thesis by the end of next week, as well as somehow organize the mound of journal articles that i have dug out of the archives at school and accumulated on my coffee table, kitchen table, desk, back pack, floor....I think there are some under the bed too.

If you can't tell I may not be the most organized person ever.

I have four other classes besides my thesis class to worry about.

My gas and electric bill is twice as much as it was last month, and also $100 more than I have in my bank account.

Annnnd I really wanted to go home this weekend for a family party. I want to see everyone and relax and there is no place more relaxing than the farm and home..... and no one will cover my shift at work, and that might be enough to make me cry.
I just got up and I feel like I need a nap.

some more reasons why sometimes i really really don't like men.

Ice is yucky

So I have my own house......I love it. I bought it. Its mine. And it's perfect for me, for this point in my life anyway. Its cute and little and slightly messy.... here it is:

But today....I hate my house. The porch is covered in an inch of ice....so i went to the Shed to get the shovel and the salt. The shed is frozen shut...I hit it (it being the layer of ice over the latch) with a hammer...then dropped the hammer on my foot. I may have cried...so now I am cold, i think i broke my toe, I can't get the shovel or the ice melt stuff...and not only that but my trash can and my mail box are also frozen closed and I don't dare get the hammer again.

Mr. Snowman

So, Penny's favorite toy is a snowman that she got for christmas last year. Its a snowman head, arms and legs attached to a red tennis ball. She has managed, over the course of the year, to dig out all of the stuffing from Mr. Snowman's head...and leave it in fluffy little piles all over the house. Or choke on it as the case may be. Mr. Snowman also smells like doggy-doo. It was time for said snowman to either get fixed or be thrown away. So, me being the crafty person that I pretend I am, armed myself with a pair of scissors and snipped off Mr. Snowman's head. Then I returned the now headless but less messy snowman to the waiting Penny. She looked at what was left of her toy,(which was a perfectly good tennis ball with two legs attached to it.) looked at me, looked at the garbage can and plopped down on the floor. She laid her little head on the snowman's legs and proceeded to look at me, not moving for 30 minutes. (If you knew my dog you would know that this was an amazing and rare occurrence.) When I say looked, I mean glared. She refused to come when I called her, and wouldn't even obey for a treat. She made two trips to the garbage can, and continued to ignore me all afternoon. Basically "Mom, you ruined my toy and I hate you."

I'm going to be a terrible parent one day.

New Year New Goals

Wow it has been a while since I even remembered that I had this thing. Maybe in my non existent free time I will start using it! :-) I wanted to comment on Tom's Blog and Zackary's cousins all have one that I wanted to make a comment on and so I just typed in my user name and there I popped up. I should be more careful with things I sign up for!!!!

And on that note I decided its time to post my resolutions. Maybe if they are here in the public, and I have openly admitted that I am trying them, it will inspire me to act on them.

#1: I will take myself out of situations that make me miserable this year. IE: Working at the Smokehouse, my situation with Chris, getting worked up over nothing. Etc.

#2: I will eat breakfast daily. I can’t guarantee that I will eat better all the time, or for the whole year. But I can eat breakfast. How hard is a little toast?

#3....If I've had it since the ninth grade, if I look at it and think 'God thats ugly', if I haven't worn it in over two years, if I'm only keeping it because my mom-grandma-twin-aunt-boyfriend-etc gave it to me, if it will never ever fit me again, and if I have 8 of the same brown tank top...I will donate it to charity.

#4: I will take better care of my body including but not limited to: moisturizer, vitamins and exercise. I won't lie...I'm getting chubby. It may be a direct result of Grad school snack time, Mcdonalds runs, and Grande White Chocolate Mocha...but who can give up those?

#5: I will take better care of my sanity. For example, I will go home to see the people I love more frequently (much more frequently!!), I will read a book that is not a text book or a teaching manual or written for 7th graders, I will take more and longer bubble baths and not make myself shave my legs (so there), I will not be afraid to order wine with dinner (even if I am out with grandma), I will not let people push me around, I will be nicer to my dog.

#6: I will take better care of my house. We’re gonna start with making the bed every day and go from there. Baby steps.

Annnnd I’m spent. Six is enough to start with I think…at least with six I have better chances of actually following through with one right?

Last week I cleaned my entire house because my mother was coming in for a visit. I mean the whole house, I dusted, mopped, vaccumed, did about 2000 dishes, cleaned the bathroom, straightened up the junk and clutter, complete overhaul....the house was beautiful.

I dont remember the last time my roomie did dishes. Or anything for that matter...

My dog peed on the floor in front of her room yesterday...I didn't clean it up.